You might be a nurse if....
1. You occasionally park in the space with the "physician's only" sign...and knock it over.
2. You believe some patients are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.
3. You recongnize that you can't cure stupid.
4. You own at least 3 pens with the names of prescription meds on them.
5. You believe there's a special place in hell for the inventor of the call light.
6. You believe that saying, "It cant get any worse" causes it to get worse to show you it can.
7. You wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.
8. You believe that any job where you can go to work in your pjs is a cool one.
9. You consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.
10. Eating microwave popcorn out of an unsused bedpan is perfectly natural.
11. You've been exposed to so many xrays you consider it a form of birth control.
12. You've ever heard a pt with a nose ring, a brow ring, and twelve earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots." (Same goes for women who have just given birth in reference to the tape on their arm getting removed. I mean, seriously? You've just given birth and tape removal causes you to scream?)
13. You've ever told a confused pt that your name is that of a coworker and to call if they need help.
14. Your bladder can expand to the size of a winnebago's water tank.
15. You have seen more penises than any prostitute could dream of. (And in my case, more boobs than any man could dream of!)
16. You believe that not all patients are annoying...some are unconcious.
17. Your family and friends refuse to watch medical sitcoms with you b/c you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside down xrays (I mean, I cant help it that Izzie has her stethescope in her ears backwards everytime she uses it!)
18. You don't get excited about blood...unless it's your own.
19. You've sworn to have "Do Not Resuscitate" on your chest. Soon.
20. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is prefectly normal to you.
21. Your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.
22. Your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift change.
23. You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.
24. You believe that Shallow Gene Pool should be a recognized diagnosis.
25. You believe that the government should require permits to reproduce.
26. You've ever had to leave a pt's room before you began to laugh uncontrollably,
Add on...27. If you are posting on your blog at 0309, then you might be a nurse. :)
Just HAD to repost this. I can successfully say I know a thing or two about a good portion of this list! I LOVE MY JOB!!!
We drove by our lot the other day and our "sold" sign was FINALLY UP! YAY!!!
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